Who knew that when reports surfaced that Britney Spears was going to be fired from The X Factor, that it would be only the second-worst rumor surrounding Brit to come out today? Chris Federline, the less-famous brother of Spears’ backup-dancer-turned-husband Kevin Federline—and of course his name is Chris—is now filing a restraining order against the pop star, claiming that not only he is the father of Britney’s son Preston (“I do confess I slept with Britney and I am the true father”), but that Brit is using that information to blackmail him for the $4,500 she spent off his stolen credit card some months ago.
Now, a number of things about this story make little to no sense whatsoever. For one, why would Britney blackmail Chris with the paternity information? Wouldn’t the news of that extramarital indiscretion be far more damaging to Britney than to C-Fed, even with whatever familial awkwardness that caused? Then, why would Britney spend $4,500 on his stolen credit card, when, fired or no, she got paid a whopping $15 million for her role on X Factor last year (and is just a very rich person in general)? Lastly, if Brit decided she absolutely had to cheat on Kevin back in the day…why would she choose his idiot brother for her adulterous dalliance?